“The Edenic Ache”

“Made for Friendship” — Chapter Two Reflection

Aching for Friendship

Once, as I laid in tall grass somewhere in the Georgia wilderness, loneliness really struck me. I felt it press down upon me like a heavy blanket soaked through with cold water. I was on watch during a field training exercises that I participated in while I was in Army Basic Training on what was then called Fort Benning. I knew I had several hours ahead of me trying desperately to stay awake, and as I battled complete exhaustion and fear of being caught sleeping, I felt totally isolated. Even though I was surrounded by a company numbering more than a hundred men, I felt very alone. But when we returned from the field training several days later, letters from home had arrived. All of us, young men who had been training in combat with such bravado, spent an hour sitting on bunks or hunched in wall lockers, weeping as we read the words of friends and family. We were aching for the companionship of our loved ones. As it turns out, all of us have this similar aching need for deep relationship.

We Were Born This Way

As we get deeper into our exploration of the topic of friendship that pastor Drew Hunter is expounding upon in his book Made for Friendship, we must start with the understanding that all humans were created by God to be in meaningful relationships. We see this of course in the creation narrative found in Genesis chapter 2. Hunter points out that as Adam, the first created human, sat in the paradise of Eden before sin had even entered the world and with God’s presence all around, God declares that something is “not good.” And that is the fact that Adam is alone with no one “fit for him.”

“The first problem in human history, the first problem on the pages of Scripture, the first problem in any human life, was not sin—it was solitude” (pg 42).

And of course the solution to this loneliness is God’s creation of Eve, a companion for Adam, his best friend. It was only at that point that the creation could have been declared “very good” (Gen. 1:31). The bottom line is that all humans were born to have deep friendships with other humans. Without that kind of meaningful relationship, we fall apart physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The Eternal Nature of Friendship

One amazing insight that Hunter points out is that the virtue of friendship is similar to the virtue of love, because both have existed for all eternity and will exist without end. This is of course because friendship exists outside of our creation and is present within the Trinitarian relationship that exists between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Just as the Apostle John declares that God is love (1 John 4:8) so it could also be said the God is friendship in a sense. This is true because the nature of the God we worship is three in one. He exists in a constant state of friendship with the other members of the Trinity. And God has made us in His image to be in relationship like this, however the curse of sin that we brought upon humanity has made this a very difficult task.

With the help of the Holy Spirit and the guidance of the Scriptures, we need to prioritize friendships by building them and maintaining them. There are so many excuses we can make that minimizes the need for deep companionship, but if we let that drive our lives we will end up neglecting one of the most important aspects of our humanity.

Our Trinitarian God exists in constant friendship. We are made in His image to be in constant friendship. Let’s embrace our full humanity, not neglect it.